Jack Chen
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The COP & The Mercedes

        A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up..
        As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes,"  he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....
       Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?"      he thought and pulled over..
       The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined  it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you
can  give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can   go."
      The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
     "Have a nice weekend," said the officer..

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    Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side.
    He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
    Her pale lips moved.
   "Jake," she said.
   "Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk." But she insisted.
   "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must   confess."
   "There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake. "It's all  right. Everything's all right."
   "No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have   been unfaithful to you."
   Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know  all about it", he sobbed. ---

  "Why else would I poison you?