Jack Chen
The jokes purpose on make you happy. hope you like it.

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A hero
        A group of tourists was visiting a beautiful river. Suddenly a woman screamed,
¡§Help! Help! My baby fell into the river. ¡¨  Every body shouted and was nervous about the baby, but no one did anything.
       Finally, a man jumped into the river and saved the baby.    A reporter talked to the man, ¡§ How nice of you.   You are really a hero.  What made you so brave to save the baby? What is the relationship between you and the baby?¡¨
        The hero answered with anger, ¡§ I just want to find out who pushed me into the river!¡¨
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A nurse
        A man went to see a doctor.  After the diagnosis the man needed an injection. When a nurse had prepared the medication, she stood by the man.
" ou~~~"the man exclaimed and looked very painful.

    ¡§You are exaggerating.? She didn't even touch you yet¡¨ the doctor said.
    ¡§ Yes, but she's standing on my toe¡¨

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Insurance company
          An international insurance company had a ceremonious meeting.
Each country presented their best at the meeting, and showed pride in their own company.

Company A  said,  ¡§ We are serious about giving good service to our customers.  Last month my company gave a refund to a family in a month¡¨

        Company  B said,  ¡§ We do much better.  We can do the refund in a week¡K.¡¨

       Company C thought for a while, then said,  ¡§ Nothing is better than we are. Last month we had a customer fell from the ninetieth floor of this skyscraper.  When he passed through the thirtieth floor window of my company, he got the refund.¡¨

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An Unlucky Man

A man sat in a bar watching a cup of wine for a couple of hours.

Suddenly a young man, who sat beside him took the cup of wine and drank it.

The first man began to cry.

The other man was scared and he said to the man, "Don't cry! Don't cry! I was joking. I will buy a bottle of wine for you!"

The first man said sadly, "I am an unlucky man. Everything goes wrong. When I went to my office this morning, I found out that I was fired. This afternoon, my wife said she wants to divorce me. I felt unhappy about my life, so I wanted to commit suicide. Then, I dropped poison into my wine, but I did not succeed because you drank it.¡¨

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A wallet

       A man took a walk in a park in the evening.  He was bumped by a teenager. The teenager said sorry to him, and ran away.
The man checked his body and found his wallet missing.  He was very angry.  He chased and grabbed the boy.  He threw the boy on the ground.
   ¡§ How dare you!  Give me the wallet!¡¨ the man shouted.
   ¡§ Don¡¦t hit me.¡¨ the boy gave a wallet to the man.
   ¡§ Don¡¦t let me see you again!¡¨ the man said angrily.
The boy jumped up and ran away.

     The man went back home.  He felt very tired so he sat on a chair in front of his desk.
  ¡§Oh no!¡¨ He found his own wallet on the desk.  

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A puppy

        An  old woman to buy fruits with her lovely dog,  The dog lapped each fruits, the storekeeper watched for a long time,  finally he can not stand the situation, then he told to the old woman, "please watch your dog"

      The old lady stop the dog immediately, " Stop doing that, my puppy , the fruit not wash yet."

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An ideal wife
             A man wanted to get married.  His friend asked him, ¡§ What is your ideal wife?¡¨  the man thought for a while and answered, ¡§ I hope my wife will be like a noble lady socially, like an accountant at house keeping,and like a Jezebel in the bedroom.¡¨

     One day he really did get married. His friends were eager to know if the man got his ideal wife.  The man answered with embarrassment.¡§ My wife is lika a Jezebel socially, like a noble lady at house keeping, and like an accountant in the bedroom.¡¨

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A   PTT member (a man who's afraid of his wife)

       A man took part in a PTT party.  The master wanted to know how many people were afraid of their wife.  He said, ¡§ Anyone who is afraid of your wife, go to the right side¡¨. Everyone moved to the right side but one.
The one said, ¡§ My wife ordered me not to go anywhere with too many people there.¡¨

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A Zoo

          Many people lost their jobs because of the slow economy.  A young man lost his job, and was not working for a long time. 

         One day he found a job at a zoo.   The manager said to him" You know, a job is not easy to get at this time.   We had a gorilla who was the kids favorite, but he died a few days ago.  Would you try to wear the  leather of the gorilla and pretend to be a gorilla?  Then you can have the job, and also get a lot of food, candy, and fun from kids.  This is a good idea, isn¡¦t it?"


         The young man accepted the job and was very happy to pretend to be a gorilla.  The kids loved him very much, so he got a lot of gifts.
       One day he seemed too excited which caused him to make a big mistake He fell over the next fence.  My goodness!! The next fence had a fierce lion.
       The young man screamed " Hel ~~~"  not waiting for the man to get help, the lion jumped to him and made a loud roar  " Hon, Hon"   the lion put his big palm on the young man¡¦s mouth.
        The young man heard a whisper to him   " You don¡¦t want both of us to lose our jobs, do you?"

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A nutritious food

                  A grandmother cooks for her grandchildren. Her tried all her best made the food nutritious, her mixed all kind foods together.

                  When her put it on the table, every child just look each other, But ate nothing.

                  The grandam explain how nice of the food, very good for health will help them grow to be strong and higher. But the children still fix not to eat.

                 The grandam can not help then threaten the children to call a witch to come.

                 Finally, a boy look the food  said, ¡§ Witch won't eat the ugly food either.

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A rich man

Mr. Rockefeller is a rich man who is top ten rich man in the world, One day He visited a city for vacation. He went to a Hotel.

¡§ President room? ¡¨ the cashier asked?

¡§No, normal room.¡¨ Rockefeller answered.

¡§ Are sure a normal room? but your son Mr. Rockefeller Jr. come here every time are order a President room.¡¨ The cashier felt puzzle.

¡§Yes, He have a rich father, but I haven¡¦t. ¡¨ Rockefeller answered.

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¡@ Reincarnation
                   In China most people believe in reincarnation.  When a man dies his soul is passed to Pluto, the king of death.
                   Pluto checks the life of the soul to see what he/she has done with their life in the world, then Pluto decides where the soul should go, heaven, hell, human, animal...etc.

                  "Good job. You had done many good things, like donating money to build roads and bridges, donating food to save the lives of the poor, you can choose to be human again.  Do you have any you would like to be?" said Pluto.

                  The man became greedy, He said ¡§ I would like to be a king with all the benefits of his life, including his huge kingdom, many servants, beautiful wife, lovely son, good health   ¡K¡K¡K¡K. ¡¨

                 Pluto think for a while and said " I haven't met someone whose life is as good as this, If this can be done, it should be on my turn!"

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A length of a toothpaste

John a five years old boy asked to his mother. ¡§ Mom. Do you know how long a toothpaste can be squeezed.

¡§I have no idea about it, my boy.¡¨ said the mother.

¡§I know.¡¨ The boy said with proudly. ¡§ It can be from bathroom through living room, your bed room, my bed room, dining room, kitchen, end at garage.¡¨

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